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It’s Time To End The Stigma — Here’s Why Therapy Is For Men, Too
“My therapist is the reason I’m still alive today and I hope one day we can eliminate the stigma around therapy.” Now, more than ever, we are all under immense amounts of stress. HBO And for a lot of us, our usual ways of coping — going to the gym, seeing friends — are not…
“My therapist is the reason I’m still alive today and I hope one day we can eliminate the stigma around therapy.”
Now, more than ever, we are all under immense amounts of stress.
HBO
And for a lot of us, our usual ways of coping — going to the gym, seeing friends — are not possible.
1.
“When I met my current therapist — about eight years ago — one of the first things she said to me was, ‘you get out of therapy what you put into it.'”
NBC
I learned it wasn’t her job to fix me — it was mine. She was there to listen and talk, to guide, to help me grow — to offer alternative perspectives and help me shift my thinking. With her help, I have worked through and overcome so much. I continue to learn new things about myself — namely that I’m stronger, smarter and more resilient than I ever believed.
Therapy is extremely painful and going in, I was terrified. I buried everything, but I never forgot. She helped me bring it out safely and work through things. I still slip up and make mistakes. I do things I’m not proud of, but she’s taught me that’s okay too. She’s the reason I’m still alive today and I hope one day we can eliminate the stigma around therapy. It’s scary, but if you put in the work, if you make the effort, you can change your life.
—Jay
2.
“I saw a counsellor over the course of a few months. My closest friend had died suddenly from a heart attack a year prior, my dad was suffering from dementia and my job was about to be made redundant. I felt overwhelmed.”
NBC
Counselling offered me a safe space to get absolutely everything off my chest. It was cathartic just to cry for an hour and say everything out loud that I knew would worry my friends.
Losing my friend was the hardest thing to deal with for a long time. As a coping mechanism, I had to set aside 30 minutes to write him a letter. The letter could be about anything and could be any length — then, after 30 minutes, pen down.
I believe it helped me process my thoughts and emotions. If I ever feel like I’m not coping, or just need to process my grief, I set a timer and add to the letter. I’ve written to him three times and always feel better for doing so.
Men, please talk to those who can help.
3.
“I got to release my worries about my family and friends.”
NBC
I got to share my deepest secrets without fearing the world would find out, because I know that they are bound to secrecy and I like that. It makes me feel at ease.
4.
“I’ve had anxiety and depression, on and off, for several years. Two years ago, I was referred to a cognitive behaviour therapist. It was a major, positive turning point.”
NBC
The main thing I took away was that the problems we have are — more often than not — not as bad as we make them out to be. It’s something that has stuck with me and helped from time to time.
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“I value the option of being able to discuss my concerns in a safe and non-judgmental space and then get help in working out strategies to handle them.”
NBC
Without my medication and therapy, I probably wouldn’t be here writing this.
6.
“I got validation from therapy. My therapist made me realise that a lot of the things I thought were silly worries were completely reasonable.”
BBC
When I was with someone who was emotionally abusive, my therapist made me realise that I wasn’t at fault and that my ex was out of line. He also helped me with college applications and looked at schools online with me.
7.
“The first time I saw a therapist, it was so incredibly comforting to have someone articulate exactly what I was feeling.”
NBC
Even just a few sessions helped me tremendously. It’s sometimes hard to put in words the mental burdens we all carry, but having a professional to speak to has given me the tools to improve my mental health in many ways.
As men, we can often feel very uncomfortable being vulnerable to another, but overcoming this is important and I encourage others to do so.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Here in Australia, we are so lucky to have so many free mental health support services. If you feel you could benefit from speaking to someone, please know there is absolutely no shame in doing so.
To reach Beyond Blue at any time and day of the week, call 1300 22 4636. For urgent care, you can reach Lifeline on 13 11 14 and in an emergency, please call 000.
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