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I Watched The Pilot And Finale Of “Jersey Shore” And Nothing In Between

Hi guys, it’s Farrah, and I’m here again to do another First Episode/Last Episode, where I give you all my thoughts on the pilot and finale of a show I’ve never watched. I thought I’d switch things up today and do something in the world of reality TV. Not just any reality TV show, but…

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Published on January 2, 2020

Hi guys, it’s Farrah, and I’m here again to do another First Episode/Last Episode, where I give you all my thoughts on the pilot and finale of a show I’ve never watched. I thought I’d switch things up today and do something in the world of reality TV. Not just any reality TV show, but one of MTV’s biggest reality shows: Jersey Shore!

Farrah Penn / BuzzFeed

I know very little about Jersey Shore other than the fact that it was a huge pop culture moment, and people couldn’t stop talking about someone named Snooki. I recognize her from her Bump It hairstyle. The only other character I remember is someone named Ron. I believe they’re all in their twenties and like to tan and party. And because this is reality TV, they start drama and fights between each other.

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Without further ado, here are all my thoughts and feelings on the pilot of Jersey Shore and immediately after, the finale.

It looks like we’re getting introduced to our cast first, which I appreciate. This man is Pauly D and so far I’ve learned that he’s Mr. Steal Your Girl. He’s also a DJ who spends more time on his hair and skin routine than I do getting ready for work most mornings.

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I will say the quality of the camera work isn’t the best, but this did air 10 years ago so I’m willing to look past that. Anyway, here we meet Snooki!!! This is all we need to know about her right now I guess:

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This man is called “The Situation” and he is fully into his abs. He works out five days a week, apparently. I think he’s gonna cause a lot of drama.

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Sammi seems pretty chill. Like, she wants to look hot and party, and there ain’t nothing wrong with that.

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Ugh, Vinny is 100% a mama’s boy and I hate him already.

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JWoww is being set up like she’s gonna start a lot of drama, but I don’t think she’s gonna be the biggest drama queen.

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This guy is Ronnie and has been introduced as someone very shallow, so this can only go downhill from here.

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Angelina comes off as the most confident girl and she’ll probably get a lot of shit for that, idk.

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I will say, I did not realize that everyone on the show didn’t know each other beforehand. I assumed they were all friends who got a house for the summer, but they’re all strangers. Which is a smart move on MTV’s part because this is reality TV and there’s drama to be had!!!!

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It’s the first night, and it looks like SNOOKI is actually being the biggest drama queen because she’s not the center of attention! She’s also getting the most shit for having fun, which is kinda rude.

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Snooki passed out, everyone left the house and went to explore, and then Snooki woke up to a duck phone that wouldn’t stop ringing — I’m sorry, quacking! — which is super random but OK.

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I also didn’t realize these people had to work for someone over the summer — a clothing store on the boardwalk — and Snooki was late because she was throwing up. Sammi started a fight that wasn’t really a fight because she didn’t want Snooki’s breath all over her? But Snooki said she brushed her teeth? LOL OK.

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It’s starting to get more interesting now since some of the guys found random girls* on the street to bring into the hot tub.

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*You know they were planted there for drama because, like, the crew had to mic them and get them to sign releases and everything.

This hot tub looks about 10 years old and idk how frequently the water is treated, so I would not be surprised if one of them came out of it with a weird-ass rash.

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The Situation is THAT GUY, isn’t he?

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HOLD UP. DJ PAULY D IS 29 YEARS OLD? I think Vinny said in the beginning that he just turned 21 so I assumed everyone was 21 or 22.

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Anyway, the random girls tried to come in the front door and got yelled at by Angelina and Sammi.

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And then Angelina made sure to let the guys know what she really thought, but they didn’t care because…it’s a party house.

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Meanwhile, Snooki is in her room alone wondering why no one is giving her attention. THIS GIRL IS SO EXTRA!!!

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We have no choice but to stan a drama queen. Like, I thought Angelina would be the most dramatic but it’s definitely Snooki.

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Then it ends of a cliffhanger where Snooki can’t be talked out of leaving and all the girls are like, this is ridiculous.

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So that was a journey! Since there really isn’t a plot to this as it’s reality TV, here are some things I think might happen to the cast in future episodes.

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– First of all, Snooki doesn’t leave. She was way too relevant over the years to have given up in the very first episode.

– The Situation and Sammi become a thing for a second, but then he ends up sleeping with Angelina or JWoww or someone.

– While we’re on the subject, I have a feeling that almost everyone in the house hooks up with each other at some point.

– DJ Pauly D thinks he’s too good to work at the store, quits, and supports himself by DJing most nights.

– Angelina becomes the most unlikeable person in the house at some point.

– Sammi and Snooki end up becoming really close.

– Someone in the house will eventually marry another person in the house, but I don’t know anyone well enough to say who that couple would be!!!

Before I begin the finale, I need to clarify that I’m watching the finale of Jersey Shore and not the reboot, Jersey Shore: Family Vacation. Since this show was an iconic pop culture moment, I wanted to really get the sense on how it wrapped in 2012 before they brought it back.

Welp, someone named Deena is now in the opening credits and Angelina is not. I don’t know what happened there!!!!!

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It’s the last night of summer and the shore crew is having a bonfire. Snooki just yelled “POOPY” and started running, which made me think she was having a bathroom emergency, but I guess that’s a pet name for her man??? WHY.

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LMAO, Jionni (Snooki’s boyfriend? Husband?) is like, yeah I handpicked these for you…from people’s front yards. ROMANCE IS ALIVE AND WELL, FRIENDS.

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I really just can’t get over the verbiage Snooki uses in her relationship.

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Anyway, we learn Sammi and Ron might move in together, and that’s one thing I clearly did NOT see coming from the pilot. Also, no one thinks it’s a good idea.

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They shoot their last day of “work” at the Shore Store. Which, c’mon, do we really believe that by Season 6 they’re actually doing real work there???

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I don’t know who Paula is but I feel like she 100% poisoned that cake that’s meant for The Situation.

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Ronnie is acting like a huge tool because of a prank that was pulled on his air mattress, and then he and Sammi get into a fight. He’s basically gaslighting Sammi and she deserves better!!!!!

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Deena is the only one who sees things clearly.

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Ah, so the cake wasn’t poisoned. Paula just gave it a little something…extra.

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OH MY GOD. The iconic duck phone made it to the last episode only to be destroyed by The Situation.

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Then the gang goes up on the roof and reminisces about all the good times they had. We also find out Snooki was punched in the face.

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Everyone in the house keeps reiterating that “no one will understand what happened here,” which I don’t really understand. Like…you partied? Every summer? At a party house? On the beach???

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It’s incredible that Pauly D kept the same hairstyle for six seasons. It’s even more incredible that it hasn’t broken off his head in one, very gelled chunk.

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Finally, the gang says their goodbyes and this is where I learn someone has gone to jail. Why didn’t I put that in my predictions?! Oh well. I bet it was Ron.

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And that…was Jersey Shore, I guess! I’ll be honest, I feel like this is something I had to experience in the moment when it was on-air and not several years later. I know there’s a reboot, but I have no idea what happens. Do they go back to the same house? Do they work the same job? Is it all just for nostalgia? I feel like I’ve read that Snooki’s a mother. Do the rest of them have kids? Anyway, let me know if you watched Jersey Shore and if there were any bonkers moments I missed out on! And for the record, Snooki is my fave.

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